Sometimes its not all about adoption...

I felt the need to speak out on this, even though it doesnt have to do with adoption.

I recently left (for good) a 8 month relationship. She and I both had emotional issues we were dealing with, but weeks ago, I started seeing a difference. I never knew who she would be from one day to the next, and in the end I had no idea she was who she turned out to be.

I sit here now, with a swollen eye, that is brused purple, because I told her I was leaving for good.

PLEASE, if you know someone who is in this kind of relationship, do what you can to help them leave. PLEASE dont sit by and think they will get out when they are ready. PLEASE dont assume they can do it on their own. PLEASE dont think they are stong enough to take care of it.

In the end,w e all need someone to tell us we are worth it, and if the person we are in a relationship is telling us we are not worth it, then we need someone else to tell us we are.

My life isnt ALL about adoption

Yes, thats right, my life is not all about adoption. Shocking, isn't it?

I have come accross quite a few people with quite a few differnt views on my life and the choices I have made, but, it really doesnt bother me. Yes, I did place my son in adoption, but not because I wanted to give him away, but because I wanted to give him more then I had. I already had a child I was trying to take care of, and I knew I couldnt care for another one. And its days like today when im glad I made the decision I made.

Today my life isnt about adoption, its about the H1N1.

When this thing first came out, it was all over, "(this many) people died this year fromt he swine flu.", "The local schools were shut down due to an outbreak of the flu, H1N1 results have not come in yet.", "the swine flu is taking over!" OK, so look...
I myself, just like everyone else I am sure, was scared shitless to get H1N1, i really thought I would die from it. Then they shots came out, and Im like dude... I get sick as a dog from the normal flu shot, I dont even wanna think about what that one would do to me. So, i didnt go get the shot, and i didnt get it for Kat either. So, my daughter and I are not vaccinated. No big deal, right?

WRONG.

Last tuesday, I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I wasnt too thrilled. Anyways, I got home, and started feeling crappy. My first thought was that this is my bodys way of telling me what lays ahead of me. So, I took about 3 hot baths, and laid down in bed, but I couldnt sleep. around midnight, I started throwing up, and around 1am, my first fever spike hit. Not fun...

Wednesday morning, I wake up, kat gets on the bus, and I drive myself to the ER - my vomit is like dark green, yea, not too sure what that was all about. Anyways, they pumped me with fluids, and sent me home. Never even sent out blood work, just, told me I had a virus, and have me some Motrin. NICE

Thursday, I feel like Im on my death bed. I cant move, I cant eat, I cant cough because i'll just throw up what I dont have inside me. And its getting harder to breath when I go up and down the steps. THAT is not like me at all. Im a bigger girl, but Im also healthy, and can easily take every flight of steps in our house and not miss a step, a beat, or breath heavy.

Friday morning comes, I call the doctors office - go back to the ER. OK!
Get into the ER, and they have me there for a while. I have Pnumonia, but the quick flu test came back negative... PHEW! that was close, I was scared I was going to have H1N1.
"So the quick test is only 50/50, sometimes it catches it, sometimes it doesnt, so we need to take llike a gallon of yoru blood a few skin graphs, a kidney biopsy, and possibly half a lung!" WHAT THE!!! Ok, just kidding, but they did say it only catches it half the time. So then why did they do the test at all?

Anyways, that was it, they admitted me, and thank god they did, because the H1N1? Came back positive

Today is Monday, and they are goign to send me home. But for now, I am getting dizzy, and need to pay back down. I'll fill in the 2 day gap when I get up.

Medical history

Sometimes its hard for me to hear about my little man getting sick, but its eaven harder to know that im sick.

I am so glad im in an open adoption, but even more so because I know that things like medical history can be shared. This way, they can know about something I might be going through, and they can let me know about anything Keaton is going through. I have other kids, so, its good to know if something is hereditary, if i should look out for it with the other two.

Anyways, thats something to think about. If you are going into a closed adoption, make sure you provide all of the medical history you possibly can! And if you are in an open adoption, fully open or semi-open, make sure you are passing that information back and forth.

I really think the health of our babies is whats most important. So, know whats going on, or what could be going on is the best plan of action.